Skip to comments.Lexophile learning
Posted on 02/06/2018 3:32:47 AM PST by sodpoodle
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore
I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get..?
If good things come to those who wait, why is he who hesitates lost..?
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
These people belong in the punitentiary!
A man who got turned into a newt walks into a pub. He got bitter.
BM. NOT a “Bowel Movement”.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
A dairy farmer got turned into a newt. But he got butter.
Ha Ha Ha
I knew you meant “bookmark”
An undertaker walked down the street and turned into a coroner.
A girl was adopted by a lady ship captain, her ferry godmother.
A guillotinist saw a round object rolling in the road- He said, “What is that up in the road ahead?”
One morning General Arnold, at the Battle of Saratoga, was asked by his cook, “how do you want your eggs, Benedict?”
The jockey caught a cold, went into the stable and got hoarse.
A large bird got caught in a hurricane and lost all his feathers. He was stork naked.
On a mat I pee. Yeah.
Ok I’m asking because it goes along with this, but do any othER lexophiles here assign meanings to words? The meaning has nothing to do with actual definition or it can be a made up word with an assigned meaning. I do this constantly to my wife’s great annoyance, but have done so since I was a child, just wondering if other people do this as well.
You may need to post a vanity thread to ask that question.
FR articles/pages move so quickly, I doubt that there will be many more comments or questions for this thread.
But thanks for asking;)
Well, the early bird gets the worm ...
... but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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