Skip to comments.Hell Introduces 13 New Varieties Of Pineapple Pizza
Posted on 03/04/2018 9:23:43 AM PST by Silentgypsy
HELLThe demonic forces of Satan proudly announced Thursday the debut of 13 new varieties of pineapple pizza, designed to torture millions of humans deceived into consuming the hellish abominations.
The exciting new spins on pineapple pizza were forged in the fires of the hottest portions of hell, and are designed to cause the greatest pain and suffering on earth as possible.
We expect the new Krazy Pineapple Kale pizza to be especially nefarious, one high-ranking demonic official said in a board meeting unveiling the new assault on all things good and holy. The pizzas shall masquerade as good and wholesome food, but in reality they shall be agents of His Darkness Lucifer. Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
Other varieties the armies of Satan are preparing to foister upon unsuspecting humans worldwide include Deluxe Lutefisk Pineapple, Tropical Tuna Pineapple, and Pineapple Marshmallow Delight.
Hells distribution center reportedly began shipping Satans pizzas to select test markets this week.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
No pineapple, no pizza.
No seafood toppings?
Maybe I’m demon possessed. I like pineapple on SOME kinds of pizza.
Looks like I need to find an exorcist.
I know people who prefer pineapple pizza above all other varieties but it never did anything for me. I would rank it at the bottom of my list.
No kale. Nowhere.
Canadian Bacon and Pineapple. Works for me. Papa Murphys. Or BGE at home.
Hawaiian pizza is mighty tasty.
Pizza: Even when its bad, it is still pretty good....
I’m an eggplant pizza kinda gal..
Sea Bright Pizza is the Best!
Has Snopes chimed in yet on the veracity of this BB article?
Pineapple on roasted chicken or pork, yes, but not on my pizza. It becomes something other than pizza at that point.
More a confection.
‘Tis an abomination. Must be consigned to Gehenna.
Not this one, but they’ll certainly consult their sources in h-— if they get wind of it.
Clams and anchovies are both acceptable pizza toppings, done right.
Maybe pineappple marshmallow, not so much.
I like greasy pizza
Pineapple is great. Pizza is great. I don’t get putting the two together.
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