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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Today's Toons 2/21/18

    02/21/2018 3:17:09 AM PST · by pookie18 · 2 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 2/21/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • An Atheist in the Forest

    02/21/2018 2:07:36 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 7 replies
    email from a friend | 02/21/2018 | unknown
    An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees! 'What powerful rivers! 'What beautiful animals! He said to himself. Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look . . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could along the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him .... He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... and then ..... He tripped and fell. Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the...
  • Hiring a Social Justice Warrior

    02/20/2018 7:43:04 AM PST · by BenLurkin · 17 replies
    Please forgive if this was previously posted. It is from 2016.
  • The furry buddha and other delights

    02/20/2018 5:17:25 AM PST · by SandRat · 9 replies
    Sierra Vista Herald ^ | Elizabeth Cowan
    Save What will you do after retirement? The commercials for retirement villages in warm climates promise fun, friends, and golf. If seasoned citizens buy into the enticement, they may rip up decades’ old roots and move to Florida, Arizona or similar places to live among total strangers. All the folks in the advertisements look healthy and happy. But what about the ones who have trouble getting around? How will they be able to partake of the promised nirvana of retirement? What is chasing a little pimply ball around the golf course is more of a challenge rather than fun? So,...
  • Today's Toons 2/20/18

    02/20/2018 3:23:24 AM PST · by pookie18 · 20 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 2/20/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Candid Camera Classic: Pickets Demand Lower Pay!

    02/19/2018 6:42:23 PM PST · by Republican Wildcat · 6 replies
    Our staff shows up at stores, protesting high pay!
  • Today's Toons 2/19/18

    02/19/2018 3:29:43 AM PST · by pookie18 · 19 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 2/19/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Golf for Geezers

    02/19/2018 3:01:15 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 9 replies
    email from a friend | 2/19/2018 | unknown
    While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart. A very beautiful and attractive golfer, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, "Are you okay?" As I looked up I noticed she was wearing only a silky see-through bath robe which was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a VERY nice figure. "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself out from under the twisted cart. She said, "Please come with me...
  • Sunday Feb 18 Olympics snark thread. Day 1 of Ice Dancing!

    02/18/2018 5:51:28 PM PST · by RooRoobird20 · 28 replies
    Me ^ | Feb 18 2018 | Me
    Wheeeee, it's the start of Olympic Ice Dancing!!!!!! Mr. Roo Roo is wavering between homicide and suicide. We have to flip back and forth between ice dancing and two man bobsled or we might have to get a divorce. Okay,here is my expert opinion on ice dancing: there should be point subtractions for bad outfits and women's armpits with five oclock shadows. Seriously.
  • Video: How Star Wars The Last Jedi Should Have Ended

    02/18/2018 9:03:24 AM PST · by EdnaMode · 10 replies
    You Tube ^ | February 12, 2018 | How It Should Have Ended
    How Star Wars The Last Jedi Should Have Ended
  • High School Math Teacher Trapped in Love Isosceles

    02/17/2018 4:06:29 PM PST · by nickcarraway · 47 replies
    CBC ^ | Sophie Kohn
    Steve Kenilworth sighs as he flops down on the couch in the staff room at Rick Astley High School, his Grade 8 math classes finally done for the day. "I'm grateful to have such a full workload this semester because it really keeps my mind off…my…my situation," he shares in a sternly hushed tone as both of his eyes scan the room. Kenilworth explains that several months ago, much to his shock, biology teacher Samantha Young confessed that she has romantic feelings for him. Meanwhile, however, Kenilworth has been helplessly in love with English teacher Dana Freeman for a number...
  • The Transgressive Appeal of the Comedy Murder Podcast

    02/17/2018 2:39:20 PM PST · by nickcarraway · 2 replies
    New York Times ^ | Feb. 16, 2018 | Amanda Hess
    When Oxygen, the television network for women, rebranded itself as a true crime channel last year, it leaned into TV’s time-tested approach: a focus on gruesome and mysterious killings, disproportionately involving white female victims and sensationalized by self-serious narrators. But Oxygen also began experimenting with a new way to cover those crimes. It started a comedy podcast, “Martinis & Murder,” in which the two hosts get tipsy on homicide-themed cocktails, audibly squirm over the gory details, make catty judgments about the suspects’ life choices and use particulars of the crimes as setups for sarcastic jokes. Here’s a sampling of dialogue...
  • Medical Mysteries

    02/17/2018 1:41:42 PM PST · by sodpoodle · 14 replies
    email from a friend and research | 2/17/2018 | unknown
    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of...
  • And Now for Something Completely Different ....

    02/16/2018 6:02:59 PM PST · by Robert A Cook PE · 22 replies
    Eng-Tips Forum ^ | 16 Feb 2018 | G. Bennett
    President Trump was walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts, “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin, and he is captured. Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?” Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout, “Donald, duck!”
  • Take a Break

    02/16/2018 11:04:16 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 19 replies
    email from a friend | 2/16/2018 | unknown
    Teacher decides to let students out early if they can name some quote origins. Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." "That's right Susie, you can go home." Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." "That's right Mary, you can go." Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." "That's right Nancy, you may also leave." The teacher turns her back, Johnny...
  • Beardless men look like girls and provoke gay thoughts,’ says Muslim preacher

    02/16/2018 6:03:11 AM PST · by ThinkingBuddha · 47 replies
    www.almasdarnews.com ^ | 02/12/2017 | Izat Charkatli
    An Islamic preacher in Turkey launched a scathing attack on clean-shaven men, claiming that they “look like women” and provoke “indecent thoughts”. Murat Bayaral’s intervention, made on a religious TV channel on 16 December, has highlighted the increasing Islamisation of Turkey under President Recep Erdogan. “Men should grow beards. One of the two body parts that separate men from women is the beard,” Bayaral said. “For example, if you see a man with long hair from afar you may think he is a woman if he does not have a beard. Because nowadays women and men dress similarly. God forbid!...
  • Today's Toons 2/16/18

    02/16/2018 3:19:58 AM PST · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 2/16/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Watch aggressive wild turkey take on traffic in Sacramento neighborhood

    02/15/2018 6:42:01 PM PST · by Mariner · 54 replies
    The Sacramento Bee ^ | February 15th, 2018 | Unattributed
    This wild turkey wasn’t too pleased with traffic on Riverside Boulevard in Sacramento’s Land Park neighborhood on Thursday, Feb. 15th.
  • A Man and his Dog

    02/15/2018 6:18:07 PM PST · by savedbygrace · 22 replies
    Every morning, at 6am, Bones would nudge his owner, John, on the hand or nose, whatever was closest to the edge of the bed, to wake him up. John would get his wits about him, roll out of bed, and take Bones for a walk. This same routine happened every morning. For years. Then one day, Bones passed away, after a long and happy life. The next morning, right at 6am, John woke up and glanced at the clock. Slowly, he turned over, hugging his wife, and nuzzled her neck seductively. With his mouth close to her ear, he whispered,...
  • Federal Judge Rules It’s Unconstitutional To Forbid Women Going Topless In Public

    02/15/2018 1:36:45 PM PST · by Enterprise · 134 replies
    http://thefederalist.com ^ | FEBRUARY 15, 2018 | Joy Overbeck
    "The brave women of Fort Collins, who for years have been struggling against the cruel oppression of breasts imprisoned in clothing, were cheered when last February U.S. District Judge R. Brooke Jackson agreed with them. The law, said the judge, is based on gender discrimination, and violates the Fourteenth Amendment’s guarantee of “the equal protection of the laws.”