How to post a thread and other interesting facts. (Welcome Newbies) (2-1-2006 edition)
Updated FR Excerpt and Link Only or Deny Posting List due to Copyright Complaints
HOW TO POST AN ARTICLE
ADMIN LECTURE SERIES
NEWBIES READ THIS FIRST
How To Keep An Idiot Busy
The history of "Zot."
There are one or two individuals who, for whatever reason, enjoy signing up new accounts here every single day to post leftist drivel. Sometimes they are vanities from DemocraticUnderground. Sometimes they are articles from other far-left sources. Sometimes they are nothing but vile doctored images or profanity laced tirades. Sometimes they are from legitimate sources but happen to strike the eye of the poster as being something that would infuriate conservatives.
The posters in question always post the articles, and then don't reply. They then post other articles, again not replying. This was going on for months. Jim would confirm by looking at the IP addresses and other aspects of the user's 'footprint' that it was the returning troll, and we would nuke the accounts. This went on for months.
Then some of the opportunists who wanted to harm the forum started a whispering campaign, complaining about articles being deleted. They would play off of the fact that the trolls' articles were being pulled to complain that there was some sort of agenda of squelching legitimate conservative postings going on by the moderators.
One day I decided to try something new. I decided, instead of letting the trolls get what they want and have their posts up as flame bait, and instead of pulling the threads outright, I would move their post aside and replace it with something that hopefully others would find humorous. I would do this out in the forum for all to see. The original piece would be available through the history link for the curious, who could see if there was some sort of censorship campaign going on. And the freepers could have fun mocking the troll if they so liked.
It so happens that the way I did it the first time was using a screen shot from Caddyshack, where the pastor gets hit by a lightning bolt. Being a bit of a fan of the comic strip "B.C." I captioned the photo with the lightning bolt sound that Johnny Hart used in his strip- ZOT! That is where the term Zot originated.
Now, sometimes we "zot", and sometimes we simply pull it. It depends on a number of factors, including how busy we are at the time. But whenever you see a Zot, you can be sure that the user was a 'newbie' who was doing their hit-and-run posting, and that if you as a well-established freeper thought the article would have made an interesting discussion, then you could probably post the same piece yourself without incident (although the most vile of the stuff probably would get pulled, and Jim reserves the right to remove anyone who he feels is constantly trying to push leftist propaganda on the forum). Anyway, that is the history and background behind zotting.
- There are many moderators, with different kinds of secret knowledge. Anything you might say about them (including this) will be false for some of the Moderators, but true for others, which only adds to the confusion and mystery.
- The Moderators infiltrate and take over cliques of all kinds, from drug warriors to libertarians to chatters, and turn them to their own ends.
- And, just as a black joke, some of their secret cliques advertise themselves as Secret Cliques.
- They have agents and "sleepers" planted everywhere. Many of these people have no idea who they are really reporting to. Others are active members of the conspiracy, working their way ever deeper into the fabric of the Free Republic society.
- They control the welcome threads in order to make sure that new freepers learn to enjoy strange tuneless music and weird outlandish games, and that they dress oddly.
- They also try to recruit the best and the brightest newbies as agents, to insure the next generation of the Conspiracy.
- They constantly feud among themselves and war with other groups and organizations. Each Moderator is constantly striving to increase its power base and undermine the competition.
- Their first means of dealing with Jim Robinson is to buy him off. To any freeper as rich as a Modertor, a few million dollars are nothing. They deal with others the same way, if they must.
- Next they try threats. Danger to possessions, status or loved ones has dissuaded many a would-be foe of Moderator schemes.
- And, of course, murder is an ancient Moderator weapon. The Moderators have been responsible for some of the most shocking assassinations of modern times.
- They also replace Freeper accounts with doubles. For many years they recruited post-alikes who would serve their ends. Now they are perfecting cloning technology that will let them replace anybody. Anyone could really be a replacement. Even your best friend.
- Those who can't be dealt with any other way are discredited or driven mad. Sometimes, this is a short drive. Sometimes, the Moderator makes the drive as well.
- The Moderator conspiracy is as old as the forum. Many of the most famous names of history have been Moderators, or Moderator agents. Indeed, all of Free Republic's history is nothing more than an outside view of the schemes and struggles of the Moderators.
- And, of course, the Moderators are constantly rewriting forum history to serve their own goals. For instance, newbies are taught that there is no historical evidence of DITHF, and they learn nothing about the Mass Exodus or the March For Justice.
- They control the sidebars, so you hear what they want you to about today's news. Any event that doesn't fit in with their program will be quickly hushed up.
- In particular, they control Breaking News. They don't permit intelligent threads to survive; they encourage mind candy that will keep people from thinking. The only reason good threads are permitted to appear at all is to convince intelligent people that nobody else likes such material, and that there must be something wrong with them.
- The Moderators manipulate the Republicans and control politics on an international level. Your candidate's worth is just what the Moderators want it to be.
- Likewise, the entire "war on drugs" is an Moderator invention. There's no war on drugs, or any real objection to such a thing, but plentiful free energy expended on the WOD might otherwise threaten the Moderators power base, if not expended on mindless infighting.
- The Moderators are doing their best to hold back the forum's expansion, for the same reason. If Freepdom was more expansive, they'd be much harder to control. [Not all the Moderators agree on this. Some of them lust after the additional subjects to oppress, and some want (literally) new worlds to conquer..
- And some of them are in touch with aliens from outer space. Some of them ARE aliens. Why would "advanced beings" want to meddle with the affairs of Freepers? Good question.
- Worse, some of them have actual magical powers and are in league with forces from ... elsewhere. Great huge beings that are madness to look upon, or tiny, malicious things that glare and gibber from dark corners. They have pins and dolls; they know old names.
- Other Moderators have embraced technology. Their files of information are much more useful when backed by the power of the computer. They are also conditioning everyone to believe that computers are so complicated and dangerous that only the Experts should play with them. Next time you get an electric bill for $666,666.66, you know who's behind it.
- And some of these technophiles have gone a step farther, creating actual machine intelligences. These sentient computers are now, themselves, a force amoung the ruling Moderators. And they post just like any other Freepers.
- The Moderators don't like flame wars; they are time consuming and wasteful. Flame wars only happen when two or more Moderators are very evenly matched and neither is willing to negotiate. But then they whip a few cliques into a righteous fervor and go at it.
- They send secret messages through the newspaper articles and over Freeper radio-- in the posts, and even buried in the replies. They have other, even stranger forms of secret communications ... all around you, all the time.
- They keep everyone -- yes, everyone -- under constant surveillance. Every time you fill out another post, another reply, another profile, you're weaving another strand of the net that binds the world. Every reply gives them more of a complete picture.
- They are working to make the forum rules as confusing as possible, so everything will be illegal or potentially illegal -- then they have a hold on everybody and everyone will fear their rule.
- They encourage resistance to authority among newbies and political dissidents, to distract older Freepers from the real enemy within.
- But when they reach a satisfactory level of control, they turn their efforts toward extinguishing independence and encouraging mindless obedience to whatever orders come from the Moderators or their servants.
- They commit random atrocities -- pulling articles posted by paleos, banning libertarians, suspending Catholics, nuking Evangelicals, taking down Bushbots, poisoning food at grocery stores, murdering old blind ladies -- just to make people vaguely confused, frightened and paranoid.
- They suppress ideas which might change the status quo. Grand political plans are all lying in Moderator vaults, waiting for the day when it will suit the Secret Masters to release them. What happened to those who generated these grand plans? Bought off, intimidated, or just vanished.
- On the other hand, they also maintain secret laboratories where they develop new weapons and devices of all kind. Lightning comes to mind.
- Their arcane investigations cause all sorts of mysteries. Ever wonder about the Loch Ness Monster? The "cattle mutilations?" DITHF?
- And they require hundreds of Freeper victims every year for their experiments. Ever wonder why there are so many Banned Freeper reports, and why so few of those people are found?
- They are constantly experimenting with new types of mind control. They put drugs in drinking water, flash subliminal messages on threads, and play instructions that you can't quite hear over supermarket loudspeakers. They experiment with microwaves and ultra-low-frequency devices, too. But the most nefarious of all is "Freep this Poll". Are you manipulating the polls, or are the polls being used to manipulate you? Hurry, the liberals are flooding this one!
- And every thread on Free Republic is a potential path for Moderator messages, attacks or controlling rays. Did you ever stop to think just how many threads you read? And do you have any idea where they really come from?
- Naturally, they discourage investigation of the strange and unusual, because it might lead to them. But they encourage people to joke about the Moderators.
- They also post supermarket tabloids, just to make sure that everybody thinks "Hitler's Brain Is Alive!" and "Bigfoot Seen In Hawaii" are just jokes.
- And they encourage the craziest pseudo-science "researcher" articles they can find, because this tends to discredit legitimate investigators into the unusual.
- A popular belief is that the Moderators want power for its own sake. This is true of some of them. But other Moderators exist to support an ideology, to achieve a particular goal, or simply to oppose some other Moderators.
- One of their chief preoccupations is job security by any means possible. Nobody who has held ultimate power for all these years is eager to let it go. Anything you can think of ... yoga, cryonics, body-exchange, magic, cloning, goat (or other) glands, transfusions, computerized personality duplication ... has been tried by the Moderators at one time or another. And some of them work.
- Furthermore, powerful Moderators from past centuries lie waiting to be revived when science allows it. Mummies, pickled corpses, frozen bodies, conscious brains in jars ... you would recognize the names if we could mention them.
- You're not cleared for this one.
- They use propaganda as a weapon to discipline their own populations or destroy competing ones.
- They have a variety of unhuman and inhuman servants. The dreaded Thread Nannies are perhaps their best-known agents. No one knows whether the TNs are androids, golems, or something even worse. Perhaps they were once human...
- And they really are breeding a Master Race. The Trolls had no idea how they were being used, or why. And they'd be horrified at the Moderators' idea of perfection.
- The Moderators know weird sexual techniques undreamed of in the Kama Sutra. They also know why those techniques are used.
- The next time you spend too much time reading something you didn't want to or need to, and you forget it in an hour, you can be sure you've just contributed to an Moderator time-wasting experiment.
- They start chain letters. They also plant rumors that the Red Cross can buy an iron lung if you send them a million cigarette packages, and that dying children in England want ten million business cards. No one knows why they do this. Except Ted Nugent.
The above based on 50 Awful Things About The Illuminati, by Steve Jackson
--This Just In --
When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Admin Moderator.
Admin Moderator can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
Admin Moderator doesn't read books. Admin Moderator stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Admin Moderator does a pushup, Admin Moderator isn't lifting himself up - Admin Moderator is pushing the Earth down.
Admin Moderator does not sleep. Admin Moderator waits.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Admin Moderator has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Admin Moderator.
Admin Moderator does not get frostbite. Admin Moderator bites frost.
Admin Moderator is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
There is no such thing as global warming. Admin Moderator was cold, so Admin Moderator turned the sun up.
Admin Moderator doesn't wear a watch. Admin Moderator decides what time it is.
Admin Moderator gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Admin Moderator can slam a revolving door.
Admin Moderator is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Faster than a speeding bullet... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound ... yes, these are some of Admin Moderator's warm-up exercises.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed ... unless it meets Admin Moderator.
ZOT Thread / Code Orange Day Thoughts
The 5 color alert system now in use does not provide adequate specificity to keep the public aware of the exact threat level.
A scale from infrared to ultra violet would provide increased granularity in the threat warning levels thereby allowing citizens to know precisely the actual threat level.
Furthermore, it would allow us to specify verbally the associated threat level by using the most precise color, as in "today's threat level is mauve."
A Disruptor's Opus
(long loading but worth the wait)
The conspiracy theory
Excerpt from the Gospel according to Mod
"But when the children of Fresno cried unto the OWNER, the OWNER raised them up a deliverer, Admin the son of Mod, a Robinsonite, a man lefthanded: and by him the children of Fresno sent a present unto Gobadan the king of Moron.
"But Admin made him a plunger, of a cubit length; and he did gird it under his raiment upon his right thigh.
"And he brought the present unto Gobadan king of Moron: and Gobadan was a very fat man.
"And when he had made an end to offer the present, he sent away the people that bare the present.
"But he himself turned again from the servers that were by Cisco, and said, I have a secret errand unto thee, O king: who said, Keep silence. And all that stood by him went out from him.
"And Admin came unto him; and he was sitting in a summer parlour, which he had for himself alone. And Admin said, I have a message from God unto thee. And he arose out of his seat.
"And Admin put forth his left hand, and took the plunger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:
"And the cup also went in after the shaft; and the fat closed upon the shaft, so that he could not draw the plunger out of his belly; and the dirt was sealed in.
"Then Admin went forth through the porch, and shut the doors of the parlour upon him, and locked them."
Thanks to RichInOC
Originally posted Here.